A great moment in Hawaii

Oh, this was a great time.

Years ago, I think sometime around 8th grade (so 1988, I think), I went to Hawaii with the family. Maui, I think? Anyhow, after dinner, me and the fam went walking along a beach. It seemed a bit late to get in the water and go boogie boarding or even body surfing, but we went anyway. Surprisingly, we did see someone get out of the water with his boogie board.

And what a sight. He seemed a cool guy, somewhere in his 20s or so. And he had a big beer belly on an already big body. It protruded from his body almost obscenely. And he wasn't hiding it at all. My dad talked with him for a while, and he chatted happily about where he was living, what he was doing, how he was enjoying being in the water...and I could not take my eyes off of him. He was exactly what my primal libido was all about. I practically craved him. But I couldn't admit that...to myself or to anyone else. And indeed, a month or two later, I wrote exactly about him, and in the same breath, I swore I was not gay. Ah, youth and internalized homophobia.

Years later, of course, I'm fine with celebrating all of this. Makes me even want to be him. I admit I have the gut going, though I like the idea of it being bigger. And going boogie boarding and living a very hedonistic, sybaritic lifestyle sounds perfect. That image of him stuck with me for decades. What if I strove to do something like that?