On Election Eve, 2020

I am full of a maelstrom of emotions tonight. Like I will be tomorrow, and the day after.

This is for my eyes only, so if I want to spill platitudes about how awful 2020 has been, I can. And it has. I haven't felt so gut punched since 9/11. But tomorrow is the real day. Four years ago, I sat in a bar (see above), seeing an election slip away from an eminently qualified candidate and into the hands of an utter Phaeton. The results shattered me; my stomach went numb and I panicked to a friend of mine who had reasonable calm. But he didn't allay my fears. I drove home, half-drunk, and sat in front of my computer until I saw this:

Tomorrow, the vast preponderance of polls say that Trump is on his way out, and Biden will be elected. This does not give me much joy. Thousands upon thousands of his followers are primed to riot, to incite violence, and to do damage to this country. Remember, he said "Proud Boys, stand back and stand by," and as if hearing a dog whistle, they obeyed and are currently at the ready.

Living downtown doesn't help give me relief either, as I am four blocks away from the state capitol, where protests have been happening on the regular. I won't be here tomorrow night; I'll be with Dennis and Mark, in the relatively safe suburbs. But cities are girding their loins for riots. Businesses are boarding up their windows in hopes of averting damage.

In the roller-coaster that has been 2020, tomorrow will prove to be the biggest, most vertiginous drop of the year. The pandemic has been awful, but has been insidious in its infiltration of our population. Tomorrow, we begin to find out the political future of our country...and whether we choose democracy, or whether we chose autocracy.